There is lot to learn and miles to go before i sleep. I know i can't afford to enjoy the luxuries of life for my life has been a luxurious one. Had my ups and had my downs and so painfull happiness have they provided me that i have now started relishing the contradictions. Infact the realisation that contradictions add meaning to life as does the urge for a dumb person to speak out his mind, has added a new dimension to my persona. Don't know if i should be gratified for all the troubles i have surpassed or be guilty of inviting them in the first place. But then you realize that it doesn't matter at all. Infact you really have very little choice or no choice at all.
It all depends on the one choice you were allowed to make. And for me i know that somewhere at the end of my previous life or may be at the begining of this one (i don't know) i chose to take the blue pill and the rest is all for you to see.
Infact its not that philosophical as it seems to be. For philosophy is the luxury the fortunate ones can afford and as mentioned at the begining of this post i can't afford to enjoy the luxuries of life. Its as if i am not programmed to enjoy. But then there would be someone who coded me. May be he can help debug me. Or is it me only who has the key. May be i can try that that out. May be i am trying it out now. I don't know.